around 5 yrs ago, when i just moved to sk, i had 7 people, including me, living under one roof. my auntie, who i'm v close to, moved in with us. ever since my birth place which is at hg ave 8, she has been living in the same blk as us.

at hg ave 8, i was living at 7th flr. she lived on the 10th.
at hg ave 2, i was living at the 10th or 9th flr, she lived on the 6th i think.
when we moved to sk, she didnt want to live at hg as well. and she moved in with us while waiting for her flat at punggol to be ready.

it was fun. having alot of ppl living under one roof. my auntie was a home maker. so everytime i wake up, i would have my lunch or breakfast waiting for me. and she'd always cook dinner. home cooked food. it was so nice. everynight, my cousin, whom i called her sis, would slp v late. i had someone to watch late night tv with. so perfect. but then, i didnt cherish it. i stay away from home. i dont like home. i like my friends more than my family. i sucked, at that time.

it has been 3 yrs since she moved. im missing it alot. i dont like to wake up alone. i dont like to wake up with nothing to eat. i dont like to watch late nights telly alone.

i like to wait for anyone to come back. say, if sis went shopping. then she'd come back, show and tell me what she's got. my male cousin, whom i also recognise as my bro. he was in army at that time. every morning, say 5 or 6, he would sit in front of the door to tie up his boots. that scene is still so familiar.

my home doesnt look like a home. it just looks like an empty shell. nobody would come in through that door. last time when my auntie's family was living with us, she would leave the door open to allow wind through. now, no more. we hardly open the door. even when some advertiser or what who knocked on the door, me or mummy'd just tip toe to the door and peep at the person through the peekhole.

isolated. empty. that's the word.
i wan a family with warmth. where can i find it in this life?